I'm not always this truthful

There is a gnarly scab on my knee. I got it today. This is what I would tell you if you asked me about it - which I know you would - cause your compassionate like that:

Today I was playing soccer with a bunch of guys. Once when I was going for the ball, I slide and somehow ripped open the flesh on my knee. It started bleeding everywhere but I didn't mind. I was proud of myself cause I won the ball in the tackle. And it didn't hurt so I kept playing and didn't say anything.

But the truth is:

Today I was playing soccer with a bunch of little boys. Once when I was going for a ball that had been kicked out of bounds, I fell on my own and somehow ripped open the flesh on my knee. It started bleeding a little but I tried to ignore it. I was totally embarrassed with myself cause I fell on my face - with no one around! It was our throw-in so I kept playing. It hurt but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to look like pansy.

the end. oh! I should mention (as a redeeming factor) in the game I scored 4 of our 6 goals! .....or did i?

Is this a World Record???

Holy moly this beer is ginormous. It makes regular sized beer feel bad. I bought the normal beer for $1.30 and the super-sized steroid beer for $2.70. I don't know how long regular beer can keep up in this market. Someone told me that every month they come out with a bigger beer - in order to out-do the competition. People better start making bigger refrigerators (and stomachs)...stat.

You know what else is big? The mountains. See... I went hiking.

That is a church, chillin on the hillside.

What's inside?

Near my house there is a shop. This is what it looks like from the outside. This is a fact. Look:

So for a long time I avoided it - it looks a bit out of my league. I never liked green apples- or scantly clad girls on chairs. Instead of going in, I wondered what might be sold inside. Everyday I saw all sorts of people entering: men, women, children, and some crazy chain-smoking guy in a wheelchair. Anywho, curiosity got the best of me. If curiosity killed the cat, I'm not sure why it hasn't killed me yet. I'm curious about a lot of things.

Inside was one long freezer and one long aisle of . . . . food. It's a grocery store. Of course it is.

Naked or pretty risky images of women appear everywhere. The other day I bought a newspaper from the side of the road for 50 cents for a game that I had planned for the kids. But as soon as I opened the fold there were naked girls. So I skipped the game. I can't be handing out that out to minors. . . maybe I will be arrested and have to spend my life in a dungeon.

Then the next day my community partner bought a newspaper to make paper hats for the kids. The same, well, not the exact same, pictures scattered the press as the day before - when I threw the paper away. But don't worry. She made the hats anyway. And the kids proudly walked around town with paper hats with smatterings of what I once thought were inappropriate pics. I was wrong. Now I'm really mad at myself for throwing the first paper away - I had a really good game in mind and now I'm short 50 cents.

The Bieber Backfire

During the day I take a group of kids out for hikes and out to play silly (but incredibly fun) games (and I know. cause I play too.). And since I always strive to be the cool (in a I'm-not-trying-to-be-cool-but-I-am kind of way), I try to relate to the kids in areas of pop-culture.

Most of the kids I am working with are 10-12 year old girls. I thought to myself, "i bet these girls just drool over Justin Bieb-ster. I bet they think he's soo dreamy with his fancy high-tops and autobiographical movie. My God, even Fiji's Prime Minister has the hots for his combed forward wispy hair (see my other blog post to learn more about this)." So I asked the kids, in a cool way (cause i'm trying to be cool here), "so you like Justin Bieber?"

And their response?!! they say, "UGGGGG. HE IS TERRIBLE!" then they say, "Do you like White Snake? What about Ozzy? Or Queen? Or ACDC? Or Pink Floyd?"

shit. these kids may be too cool for me.

Learning to Read

Knowing how to read is GREAT! I highly recommend it to everyone. My 7 year old sister is super at reading - she can read like a real-life 13 year old. For real. They should be testing that kid for using brain steroids. She could be a drug cheat. But like they say, if you ain't cheatin'; you ain't tryin' (i think they are southerns, like my friend Spencer Lucker, because they say words like ain't). Kuddos to her.

In fact, kuddos to you! Obviously, you have mastered the art of reading too. I can tell because you are making sense of all these crazy symbols that are crammed together. Or sorry. . .maybe you are that poor sucker that is stuck having someone read this to you because you haven't learned the fine art of reading yet. . .but don't worry there is still plenty of time! I know. I have been learning how to read this week.

Everything here is written in Cyrillic. A wonderful lady in the Peace Corps Office gave me a book with the Cyrillic symbols listed next to how they would sound in the Roman Alphabet. like H symbol sounds like Na. I tore that page out of the book and now I aimlessly walk through town trying to decode every signs' meaning. I can spend several minutes staring at a sign, slowly, painfully, sounding out the word. Every once in a while the word will be the same as in English. Then I lose it. I jump up and down and scream to the frightened pedestrians, "HA HA HA. It says C-O-FF-EE! I think they sell C-O-FF-EE here!!!" And since must people don't speak English, they think I'm crazy. And the people who do speak English also think I'm crazy. But it doesn't matter because I'm very proud of myself. And that is what learning to read is like - feeling incredibly dumb for 10 minutes and then feeling incredibly smart for 30 seconds - and then starting all over again. It is totally worth it.

Bulgaria

Ok. Listen. This stuff is big news. I moved. . . . to BULGARIA!!!

Let's get down to business: I had to change the fish background of the blog (in case you are new to the scene - there use to be fish where those crazy lasers are (also i think laser should be spelled lazers...cause it's cooler that way) because now that i'm in Bulgaria I don't expect to see fancy-tropical-coral fish. Leaving them up would be false advertising. Do I expect to see lasers?! You betcha! well, maybe. well, i doubt it.

Before moving here I knew as much about Bulgaria as I do/did about Herman James Linstell. Which is nothing - especially since I made-up Mr. H.J. Linstell. Anywho, I'm learning fast. There is sooo much to see and learn. Like the Cyrillic alphabet! The following is a quick list of the things I have learned that I love so far:

-there are sunflowers everywhere.
-when people talk about something they like they raise their voice and use their arms a lot. if you love something you shout about it. DID I TELL YOU ABOUT HOW MANY SUNFLOWERS THERE ARE?????
-a bottle of wine can be bought for approximately $1.25 USD. WOW, WINE!!!
-coffee and espresso can be purchased from vending machines on the street for a few cents. it comes out fresh, hot, and with a little stir stick. (i just have to learn Cyrillic and Bulgarian to know what exactly i'm ordering, when i'm pushing those buttons)
-fancy cars drive past my house. so do horses pulling carts.
-there is a public pool by my house - that plays rap music on load speakers, sells beer, and has a soccer field.
-there is a place that has bears. and you can feed them!(i guess you can always feed bears, but at this place you give them fruit - not your kidney)

who knew? i certainly didn't. but I do now. and so do you. tell a friend. and come visit.

Supermodel Documentary Hour

Now that I am in the States, I thought I would sum up my trip with some pics. . . and add illustration to some of my blog posts. I will be leaving for Bulgaria in the middle of August so perhaps I will pick back-up blogging then. Anywho, enjoy.

Eating in a Village

Leaving a Village Health Outreach. We like boats.

I taught my co-workers the emotion game - the person holding the camera yells out an emotion, situation, or animal, just before snapping the pic and the "models" have to quickly act out what was said. This is "monkey" -

Guns and Coffee on the Prime Minister's Boat -

Figuring out the results of the "Baby Show" in my Fijian dress. Who says I don't know how to get "dolled" up?? Nobody!

Ice is good at climbing trees -

DOUBLE RAINBOW!!! WHAT DOES IT MEAN??!!

Drinking grog -

Grog Drinking -

Doing a village cleanup. Everything is mowed with a weed-eater. I am a pro.

Relaxing with a fresh drink -

Cleanin' fish for dinner (we caught all these fish in about 5 minutes with a net just off shore) -

Dhalhole! -

My students from 2004-2006. They are soccer refs now! World Cup prepare.