Baby:I work at the hospital and everyday someone new comes in with some kind of crazy disease or problem. A kid came in who poked out his eye with a machete. Once an infant drank gasoline because it was being stored in a Sprite bottle. He thought he was getting a tasty treat but what he got was 3 days in the hospital. Some people have elephantiasis and some have goiters but mostly we (the hospital) have women coming in to have babies.
(the population of the island is low and the hospital is small. usually we have about 3 to 4 patients admitted at one time. the waiting room is never full and the service is always good. and free. you should come next time your boil need lancing).
With all the new babies being produced here it seems like we are a baby-making factory. I decided I wanted to see how it all worked as I have never been in a delivery room. For the past few weeks I have been debating about asking if I could observe a live birth - out of fear (I was terrified that if something went wrong with the birth the mother would think I put some crazy foreign curse in the air and I didn't want to be blamed for anything. .. even if it was for only watching). Anyway, I finally decided I was being stupid and today when the nurses announced a baby would probably come in the afternoon, I jumped at the opportunity. I asked if I could watch and they said yes.
SO. today I saw a baby being born! holy moly. TV got it all wrong.
the mother was about 21 years old and it was her first baby. She was given no pain medicine. she did not scream. she did not make a sound. when she pushed you could see the pain in her face but shit, this girl could withstand waterboarding with a smile. she did not have a cloth or blanket covering her and there were no stirrups or anything for her feet. whenever she was pushing she would lift her legs and push them against the delivery nurses. I saw the entire thing. the head came out. then the body came swimming into the air. the entire process took about 45 minutes. the result - a beautiful, healthy, baby boy.
Another thing. The baby takes after his mom. when he was born he let out a quick little yelp and then didn't cry after that. at all. He just opened his eyes... and looked around the room. this baby could have been born in the library and no one would have noticed.
Werewolf: I live with the head doctor of the hospital and her 14 year old brother. Today when I came home from work, Jack (the brother), asked me,
Jack - Hey, what do you know about werewolfs?
Me- A lot! (even though I know nothing except for what is portrayed in Teen-Wolf the movie. I said that because I wanted to see where the conversation was going. It is not often a kid asks you about werewolfs in a their second language.)
Jack - Are they real?
Me - no. they are only for fun. . . for movies. . .why?
Jack - uh, cause I'm worried I'm turning into one.
turns out: poor jack was bitten by a dog when he was 13. shortly after he started growing - a lot! he became hungrier then ever. he was always craving food especially meat. he wanted to sleep all day but stay up at night. and mostly, when older people told him what to do he became really angry. He still has these symptoms today. and they are getting worse!
I told Jack I think that he is not a werewolf but he is just going through puberty. And these terrible symptoms will go away after a several long hard years. I also told him I would lock my door and avoid him on nights of full moons. Just in case.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Picture Time!
Its a Christmas Miracle! The internet is working super fast (uploading these pics only took a few hours!).
This is a pic from the church (which I talk about in the post Safety First). It is right next to the hospital and below is one of the villages.
Throughout the week we go to different villages to provide medical screening and services. On the way to one village we came across this. . . and then we turned around. . . hope no one was too sick!
Flying to Mel Gibson's private island:
fresh coconuts from the side of the road.
This is a pic from the church (which I talk about in the post Safety First). It is right next to the hospital and below is one of the villages.
Throughout the week we go to different villages to provide medical screening and services. On the way to one village we came across this. . . and then we turned around. . . hope no one was too sick!
Flying to Mel Gibson's private island:
fresh coconuts from the side of the road.
I Know Impressive People - and some of them know me too!
Listen: in case you have forgotten the women's world cup is starting in just 1 day! And depending on when you read this - it may have already started!!!! (for those of you who are not reading my blog immediately following my posting. . .which, I bet, is everyone. . .except me. . .who lavishes in my own writing/work/existence) So, go turn on your tv (if you have one) and watch America (i hope) come home with the cup. BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY - WATCH FOR
Finau Vulivuli. She is one of 16 center referees chosen to officiate the tournament. Finau is from Fiji and when I was in Peace Corps we started refereeing together. We became the first female referees in the country. We traveled together to control men's professional matches. I thought we were a big deal. Now i know, Finau IS a big deal. anyway, watch for her. she's the one who never makes mistakes.
Also. on the trend of impressive folks:
this story isn't about Fiji but it happened while I was here. Thus,I will include it for your reading pleasure and mostly, cause I like it.
for Christmas JB and I gave everyone in our family a photo of us standing with President Bill Clinton. President Clinton has his arm hanging over our shoulders and we look like best buds. . .which is awesome cause well. . .it just is.. . and you know it!
Anyway, my father is the type of guy who hears anyone talking about kids and he will whip out a photo album (that he carries in his briefcase) to showcase how attractive his own kids are (why do you think I'm so vain). Someone could be talking about baby goats and half a second later my dad will be saying, "well, look. Look at my group of little rascals" and then he'll shove a dozen photos in their face (even if they are blind).
So the other day my dad was talking to a client (about painting a house) and dad starts showcasing his kid photos. When the client sees the photo I described above, the following conversation ensued:
Client: Wow! Your daughter got a picture with him!
Dad: Yeah. She's in grad school at the Clinton School so she gets to see Clinton sometimes.
Client: I'm NOT talking about Clinton! Look! Do you know who that is??? (starts pointing). . .. that is Josphat Boit! He is an amazing runner.
Dad: Oh yeah. JB - That's her husband. She gets to see him ALL the time.
so anyway, kudos to JB, and Finau, and President Clinton. . . i am continually shocked by your awesomeness.
Finau Vulivuli. She is one of 16 center referees chosen to officiate the tournament. Finau is from Fiji and when I was in Peace Corps we started refereeing together. We became the first female referees in the country. We traveled together to control men's professional matches. I thought we were a big deal. Now i know, Finau IS a big deal. anyway, watch for her. she's the one who never makes mistakes.
Also. on the trend of impressive folks:
this story isn't about Fiji but it happened while I was here. Thus,I will include it for your reading pleasure and mostly, cause I like it.
for Christmas JB and I gave everyone in our family a photo of us standing with President Bill Clinton. President Clinton has his arm hanging over our shoulders and we look like best buds. . .which is awesome cause well. . .it just is.. . and you know it!
Anyway, my father is the type of guy who hears anyone talking about kids and he will whip out a photo album (that he carries in his briefcase) to showcase how attractive his own kids are (why do you think I'm so vain). Someone could be talking about baby goats and half a second later my dad will be saying, "well, look. Look at my group of little rascals" and then he'll shove a dozen photos in their face (even if they are blind).
So the other day my dad was talking to a client (about painting a house) and dad starts showcasing his kid photos. When the client sees the photo I described above, the following conversation ensued:
Client: Wow! Your daughter got a picture with him!
Dad: Yeah. She's in grad school at the Clinton School so she gets to see Clinton sometimes.
Client: I'm NOT talking about Clinton! Look! Do you know who that is??? (starts pointing). . .. that is Josphat Boit! He is an amazing runner.
Dad: Oh yeah. JB - That's her husband. She gets to see him ALL the time.
so anyway, kudos to JB, and Finau, and President Clinton. . . i am continually shocked by your awesomeness.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Grog-Doped
First of all, the only reason I haven’t written is because the internet has stopped working since my last post. But I’m still alive and all is well. Once again, I wish I could post pictures to help explain this post but I instead I will be grateful that I can upload text.
Let me tell you about Kava (also called Waka, Yaqona, or Grog (my favorite)). Kava is the traditional drink of the country and it can be seen EVERYWHERE. When coming into a new village you must give the village chief Kava and then you would typically sit and drink it with him (and the other villagers). I will do my best to describe it through bullet points:
• It is the root of a tree
• It is pounded into a fine powdered
• It is sieved into a giant basin of water.
(ALL drinking water on my island comes from rain water that is collected from roof runoff. Tasty!) Turning the water into what looks like a mud puddle. And tastes like a . . .well . . . . mud puddle.
• Everyone drinking sits in a circle on the ground (always on mats made of palm fronds)
• One person sits behind the basin and fills a cup (which is half of a coconut shell (called bilo for those taking cultural notes)).
• The cup/bilo is passed to someone in the group. That person claps their hands, says “great hello” to everyone and then drinks everything in the cup. Then the person hands the cup back and claps three times.
• The person behind the basin fills the cup again and passes it to someone new. This is done until everyone has drunk.
• A few minutes later the process starts again.
• The drinking last for hours. Sometimes all night.
So what does it do to you???? Other then perhaps give you some crazy communicable disease from drinking from the same “cup” as everyone else for hours. . .. especially when people are going to the bathroom and coming back without washing their hands. . . .including our friend behind the basin mixing the “drink”. . . . IT CAUSES:
• Your face and tongue to go numb
• It slows your thoughts. Once you are grog-doped you can sit in the same spot for hours without saying or doing anything. It makes you the laziest person in the world. . . except for maybe the dude next to you.
• Lights and shadows start playing tricks. Shadows start looking like they aren’t attached to people and objects. They are just floating and moving in space. They become living things with a mind of their own.
• It makes you dehydrated. So dehydrated that your skin will begin peeling off your body. . . in search of some water.
• When you do sleep it will be deep. When you wake in the morning/IF you wake you will still want to sleep. forever.
Honestly, I don’t really like drinking kava but if you want to understand the culture you need to drink it....at least once.
Let me tell you about Kava (also called Waka, Yaqona, or Grog (my favorite)). Kava is the traditional drink of the country and it can be seen EVERYWHERE. When coming into a new village you must give the village chief Kava and then you would typically sit and drink it with him (and the other villagers). I will do my best to describe it through bullet points:
• It is the root of a tree
• It is pounded into a fine powdered
• It is sieved into a giant basin of water.
(ALL drinking water on my island comes from rain water that is collected from roof runoff. Tasty!) Turning the water into what looks like a mud puddle. And tastes like a . . .well . . . . mud puddle.
• Everyone drinking sits in a circle on the ground (always on mats made of palm fronds)
• One person sits behind the basin and fills a cup (which is half of a coconut shell (called bilo for those taking cultural notes)).
• The cup/bilo is passed to someone in the group. That person claps their hands, says “great hello” to everyone and then drinks everything in the cup. Then the person hands the cup back and claps three times.
• The person behind the basin fills the cup again and passes it to someone new. This is done until everyone has drunk.
• A few minutes later the process starts again.
• The drinking last for hours. Sometimes all night.
So what does it do to you???? Other then perhaps give you some crazy communicable disease from drinking from the same “cup” as everyone else for hours. . .. especially when people are going to the bathroom and coming back without washing their hands. . . .including our friend behind the basin mixing the “drink”. . . . IT CAUSES:
• Your face and tongue to go numb
• It slows your thoughts. Once you are grog-doped you can sit in the same spot for hours without saying or doing anything. It makes you the laziest person in the world. . . except for maybe the dude next to you.
• Lights and shadows start playing tricks. Shadows start looking like they aren’t attached to people and objects. They are just floating and moving in space. They become living things with a mind of their own.
• It makes you dehydrated. So dehydrated that your skin will begin peeling off your body. . . in search of some water.
• When you do sleep it will be deep. When you wake in the morning/IF you wake you will still want to sleep. forever.
Honestly, I don’t really like drinking kava but if you want to understand the culture you need to drink it....at least once.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
I'm on a Boat
The Prime Minister came on Monday. To be extra impressive, I wore a Fijian dress and ironed it – twice! You can never look too sharp for your meeting with the head of the country. The PM travelled overnight on his personal Navy boat. His first stop was the hospital (where I work) and then he went to tour some villages around the island.
As soon as he left the hospital, I threw on some shorts and a t-shirt and headed with some of my coworkers to the pier to check out his boat. When we got there we were somehow invited inside the boat! I must have looked fabulous and seemed extra charming (but really I think one of my coworker’s uncles worked on the boat). And once inside we were invited for a breakfast of coffee, cold apples, bread, and meat pies. Now I know you are thinking, “That doesn’t sound too tasty. I can get a better breakfast at IHOP at 4 in the morning that is mixed with my waitress’s cigarette butts.” But in this far away land of no refrigerators, no beef, no apples, no coffee, no milk, no nonsense, and no IHOP, this was a meal fit for the most powerful man in the country. And that is exactly what it was: we were eating the PM’s leftovers! In his kitchen. Drinking from his cups and stirring with his spoons!
After we finished eating we got up to leave. But the secret service guys told us to stay. When secret service tells you to do something; you do it. They said they would turn on a movie! And you would never believe what the PM’s team of manly security guards picked to watch from his personal dvd collection. “Something with guns and naked women!” you shout. NO. “Something about aliens or giant worms taking over the world!” you say. NO. My mind began to falter when I saw it. You will be shocked too. I said to myself, “this cannot be happening. This is not real.” The movie was: Justin Bieber’s Biography. Talk about inspirational! Ha ha.
Then the guards told us we could hold their guns. And they did! Guns in Fiji are like albino squirrels. You hear they exist but you never get to see them. So here I am sitting in the PM’s private boat, eating cold apples, holding guns, and watching Justin Bieber. That is when I realized: I have finally made it in life! Now, if I could just upload a video of me singing about this on YouTube the rest of the world will know about just how far I have come too!
As soon as he left the hospital, I threw on some shorts and a t-shirt and headed with some of my coworkers to the pier to check out his boat. When we got there we were somehow invited inside the boat! I must have looked fabulous and seemed extra charming (but really I think one of my coworker’s uncles worked on the boat). And once inside we were invited for a breakfast of coffee, cold apples, bread, and meat pies. Now I know you are thinking, “That doesn’t sound too tasty. I can get a better breakfast at IHOP at 4 in the morning that is mixed with my waitress’s cigarette butts.” But in this far away land of no refrigerators, no beef, no apples, no coffee, no milk, no nonsense, and no IHOP, this was a meal fit for the most powerful man in the country. And that is exactly what it was: we were eating the PM’s leftovers! In his kitchen. Drinking from his cups and stirring with his spoons!
After we finished eating we got up to leave. But the secret service guys told us to stay. When secret service tells you to do something; you do it. They said they would turn on a movie! And you would never believe what the PM’s team of manly security guards picked to watch from his personal dvd collection. “Something with guns and naked women!” you shout. NO. “Something about aliens or giant worms taking over the world!” you say. NO. My mind began to falter when I saw it. You will be shocked too. I said to myself, “this cannot be happening. This is not real.” The movie was: Justin Bieber’s Biography. Talk about inspirational! Ha ha.
Then the guards told us we could hold their guns. And they did! Guns in Fiji are like albino squirrels. You hear they exist but you never get to see them. So here I am sitting in the PM’s private boat, eating cold apples, holding guns, and watching Justin Bieber. That is when I realized: I have finally made it in life! Now, if I could just upload a video of me singing about this on YouTube the rest of the world will know about just how far I have come too!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Lesson In American Speaking
In Tina Fey’s book, Bossypants, I believe she correctly describes how when (some) Americans like something they act disgusted by it. And the more they like it the more they say how nasty it is. For example she writes that a person who has found an apartment they like might say:
“It was sick. You don’t even know. Marble slabs. The kitchen was all Sub-Zero: I want to kill myself. The building has a playroom that makes you want to break your own jaw with a golf club. I can’t take it.”
SO using those terms – I say:
This island is ridicules! When I first saw the beach I wanted to rip out my eyeballs and smash them into the sand. It is disgusting how blue and green the water is. And the reef! The reef! It makes you want to vomit and then get sucker punched straight in the snot-locker (nose) so you know you aren’t in the middle of a fat-dirty dream. And to make it even worse the people are friendly! I can’t take it!
Sorry. I stole that last line from Tina(but as I mentioned in my last post. . .I’m a copycat. I think she would see it as a sign of flatter. You’re welcome Tina!)
“It was sick. You don’t even know. Marble slabs. The kitchen was all Sub-Zero: I want to kill myself. The building has a playroom that makes you want to break your own jaw with a golf club. I can’t take it.”
SO using those terms – I say:
This island is ridicules! When I first saw the beach I wanted to rip out my eyeballs and smash them into the sand. It is disgusting how blue and green the water is. And the reef! The reef! It makes you want to vomit and then get sucker punched straight in the snot-locker (nose) so you know you aren’t in the middle of a fat-dirty dream. And to make it even worse the people are friendly! I can’t take it!
Sorry. I stole that last line from Tina(but as I mentioned in my last post. . .I’m a copycat. I think she would see it as a sign of flatter. You’re welcome Tina!)
Friday, June 10, 2011
Only in Fiji (and probably a few other places). . ..
1)When getting on the plane the flight attendants announced: “Please remember - you are NOT allowed to lie on the floor during the flight.”
2)When i was still on the main island I went to a sit-down restaurant in the capital city with my Fijian friend. Halfway through our meal a drunken homeless man came in and asked for food. Dani (my friend) said, “sit there” and pointed to a nearby table. Then she split her food and gave him half. I did the same (because I am a copycat). And so did everyone else in the restaurant (I guess they are copycats too). Mr. UnwashedPants ended up with a HUGE meal and two drinks – one of them: beer.
3)My backpacks have started to mold. I don’t get it. They are not made out of bread.
2)When i was still on the main island I went to a sit-down restaurant in the capital city with my Fijian friend. Halfway through our meal a drunken homeless man came in and asked for food. Dani (my friend) said, “sit there” and pointed to a nearby table. Then she split her food and gave him half. I did the same (because I am a copycat). And so did everyone else in the restaurant (I guess they are copycats too). Mr. UnwashedPants ended up with a HUGE meal and two drinks – one of them: beer.
3)My backpacks have started to mold. I don’t get it. They are not made out of bread.
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