Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Grog-Doped

First of all, the only reason I haven’t written is because the internet has stopped working since my last post. But I’m still alive and all is well. Once again, I wish I could post pictures to help explain this post but I instead I will be grateful that I can upload text.

Let me tell you about Kava (also called Waka, Yaqona, or Grog (my favorite)). Kava is the traditional drink of the country and it can be seen EVERYWHERE. When coming into a new village you must give the village chief Kava and then you would typically sit and drink it with him (and the other villagers). I will do my best to describe it through bullet points:

• It is the root of a tree
• It is pounded into a fine powdered
• It is sieved into a giant basin of water.
(ALL drinking water on my island comes from rain water that is collected from roof runoff. Tasty!) Turning the water into what looks like a mud puddle. And tastes like a . . .well . . . . mud puddle.
• Everyone drinking sits in a circle on the ground (always on mats made of palm fronds)
• One person sits behind the basin and fills a cup (which is half of a coconut shell (called bilo for those taking cultural notes)).
• The cup/bilo is passed to someone in the group. That person claps their hands, says “great hello” to everyone and then drinks everything in the cup. Then the person hands the cup back and claps three times.
• The person behind the basin fills the cup again and passes it to someone new. This is done until everyone has drunk.
• A few minutes later the process starts again.
• The drinking last for hours. Sometimes all night.

So what does it do to you???? Other then perhaps give you some crazy communicable disease from drinking from the same “cup” as everyone else for hours. . .. especially when people are going to the bathroom and coming back without washing their hands. . . .including our friend behind the basin mixing the “drink”. . . . IT CAUSES:

• Your face and tongue to go numb
• It slows your thoughts. Once you are grog-doped you can sit in the same spot for hours without saying or doing anything. It makes you the laziest person in the world. . . except for maybe the dude next to you.
• Lights and shadows start playing tricks. Shadows start looking like they aren’t attached to people and objects. They are just floating and moving in space. They become living things with a mind of their own.
• It makes you dehydrated. So dehydrated that your skin will begin peeling off your body. . . in search of some water.
• When you do sleep it will be deep. When you wake in the morning/IF you wake you will still want to sleep. forever.

Honestly, I don’t really like drinking kava but if you want to understand the culture you need to drink it....at least once.

2 comments:

  1. Have you read, "Getting Stoned with Savages" or "Sex Lives of Cannibals" by Martin Troost? I think you would enjoy both... travel writing about life on a Polynesian island...maybe even Fiji? This Kava post made me think of it...both seriously hilarious books.

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  2. Is this post a continuation of the last one? It seems like you might have been grogged when you were playing with guns and watching Justin Bieber.

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