Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Werewolfs and Babies. . . but not in that order.

Baby:I work at the hospital and everyday someone new comes in with some kind of crazy disease or problem. A kid came in who poked out his eye with a machete. Once an infant drank gasoline because it was being stored in a Sprite bottle. He thought he was getting a tasty treat but what he got was 3 days in the hospital. Some people have elephantiasis and some have goiters but mostly we (the hospital) have women coming in to have babies.

(the population of the island is low and the hospital is small. usually we have about 3 to 4 patients admitted at one time. the waiting room is never full and the service is always good. and free. you should come next time your boil need lancing).

With all the new babies being produced here it seems like we are a baby-making factory. I decided I wanted to see how it all worked as I have never been in a delivery room. For the past few weeks I have been debating about asking if I could observe a live birth - out of fear (I was terrified that if something went wrong with the birth the mother would think I put some crazy foreign curse in the air and I didn't want to be blamed for anything. .. even if it was for only watching). Anyway, I finally decided I was being stupid and today when the nurses announced a baby would probably come in the afternoon, I jumped at the opportunity. I asked if I could watch and they said yes.

SO. today I saw a baby being born! holy moly. TV got it all wrong.

the mother was about 21 years old and it was her first baby. She was given no pain medicine. she did not scream. she did not make a sound. when she pushed you could see the pain in her face but shit, this girl could withstand waterboarding with a smile. she did not have a cloth or blanket covering her and there were no stirrups or anything for her feet. whenever she was pushing she would lift her legs and push them against the delivery nurses. I saw the entire thing. the head came out. then the body came swimming into the air. the entire process took about 45 minutes. the result - a beautiful, healthy, baby boy.

Another thing. The baby takes after his mom. when he was born he let out a quick little yelp and then didn't cry after that. at all. He just opened his eyes... and looked around the room. this baby could have been born in the library and no one would have noticed.

Werewolf: I live with the head doctor of the hospital and her 14 year old brother. Today when I came home from work, Jack (the brother), asked me,

Jack - Hey, what do you know about werewolfs?
Me- A lot! (even though I know nothing except for what is portrayed in Teen-Wolf the movie. I said that because I wanted to see where the conversation was going. It is not often a kid asks you about werewolfs in a their second language.)
Jack - Are they real?
Me - no. they are only for fun. . . for movies. . .why?
Jack - uh, cause I'm worried I'm turning into one.

turns out: poor jack was bitten by a dog when he was 13. shortly after he started growing - a lot! he became hungrier then ever. he was always craving food especially meat. he wanted to sleep all day but stay up at night. and mostly, when older people told him what to do he became really angry. He still has these symptoms today. and they are getting worse!

I told Jack I think that he is not a werewolf but he is just going through puberty. And these terrible symptoms will go away after a several long hard years. I also told him I would lock my door and avoid him on nights of full moons. Just in case.

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