The Prime Minister came on Monday. To be extra impressive, I wore a Fijian dress and ironed it – twice! You can never look too sharp for your meeting with the head of the country. The PM travelled overnight on his personal Navy boat. His first stop was the hospital (where I work) and then he went to tour some villages around the island.
As soon as he left the hospital, I threw on some shorts and a t-shirt and headed with some of my coworkers to the pier to check out his boat. When we got there we were somehow invited inside the boat! I must have looked fabulous and seemed extra charming (but really I think one of my coworker’s uncles worked on the boat). And once inside we were invited for a breakfast of coffee, cold apples, bread, and meat pies. Now I know you are thinking, “That doesn’t sound too tasty. I can get a better breakfast at IHOP at 4 in the morning that is mixed with my waitress’s cigarette butts.” But in this far away land of no refrigerators, no beef, no apples, no coffee, no milk, no nonsense, and no IHOP, this was a meal fit for the most powerful man in the country. And that is exactly what it was: we were eating the PM’s leftovers! In his kitchen. Drinking from his cups and stirring with his spoons!
After we finished eating we got up to leave. But the secret service guys told us to stay. When secret service tells you to do something; you do it. They said they would turn on a movie! And you would never believe what the PM’s team of manly security guards picked to watch from his personal dvd collection. “Something with guns and naked women!” you shout. NO. “Something about aliens or giant worms taking over the world!” you say. NO. My mind began to falter when I saw it. You will be shocked too. I said to myself, “this cannot be happening. This is not real.” The movie was: Justin Bieber’s Biography. Talk about inspirational! Ha ha.
Then the guards told us we could hold their guns. And they did! Guns in Fiji are like albino squirrels. You hear they exist but you never get to see them. So here I am sitting in the PM’s private boat, eating cold apples, holding guns, and watching Justin Bieber. That is when I realized: I have finally made it in life! Now, if I could just upload a video of me singing about this on YouTube the rest of the world will know about just how far I have come too!
Can't believe they let you hold their guns!! Freakin' hilarious. Love it!
ReplyDeleteOh, my kingdom to be a fly on the wall. Tell me, please, that someone at least took a picture we can show at graduation.
ReplyDeleteshen, was the PM's boat actually a ship? i'm trying to picture it. And where was the actual PM while u were in his kitchen?
ReplyDeleteby boat I really do mean SHIP. a big gray ship. and the PM was out touring villages. the only people on the boat were a few secret service guys and the kitchen staff.
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